<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>adagio ma non tanto by citadelofswords</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754458">adagio ma non tanto</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/citadelofswords/pseuds/citadelofswords'>citadelofswords</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>will you come home (and stop this pain) tonight [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dreams, Gen, KH3 spoilers, M/M, actions have consequences, can be either platonic or romantic but i wrote it a very specific way so, heart hotel is not okay, neither is sora but we know, post kh3, sea salt trio + isa make the briefest appearance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:20:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25754458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/citadelofswords/pseuds/citadelofswords</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>not quite at ease.</i>
</p><p>Roxas knows he’s not the only one dealing with the repercussions of Sora’s last selfless act. No one’s doing great, exactly. Oh, they’re happy, being together, being teenagers. Hayner and Pence and Olette have welcomed Xion without second thoughts, and even Seifer seems pleased to have someone who can match him in Struggles. But they’re not doing <i>great.</i></p><p>
  <i>(this fic is standalone; you don't need to read the previous two parts to understand what's going on here.)</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Riku &amp; Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas &amp; Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Roxas/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>will you come home (and stop this pain) tonight [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1842991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>adagio ma non tanto</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i love roxas and i love sora and roxas and i love how much sora cares about roxas and like excuse u roxas cares right back.</p><p>i meant to post this yesterday and then my power went out and took out the internet with it so please accept my deepest apologies for the delay, if anyone actually cares.</p><p>please note that this installment contains depictions of something akin to heart palpitations but uh, kind of worse. so be mindful.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Something is wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas knows he’s not the only one dealing with the repercussions of Sora’s last selfless act. Part of Ventus sleeping for three days at a time (and then staying awake for somewhat longer) is left over from having slept in Sora’s heart for twelve years— everyone knows that, and according to Yen Sid it’ll pass as he adjusts. But sometimes even when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> awake he just stops mid conversation and goes glassy-eyed out the window, looking at something only he can see. According to Kairi. Roxas hasn’t really been back to the Land of Departure to see him— too busy settling into Twilight Town, with Xion and Lea and Isa, to worry about picking up Keyblade training.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xion’s probably the best off of the three of them— sometimes, without warning, she’ll just flicker. Usually it only shoots her back about fifty feet, or drops her somewhere else in their tiny apartment, but it doesn’t happen often, and Roxas knows to leave soft things everywhere in case she falls from the disorientation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas, however— Roxas’s heart, sometimes, just fucking </span>
  <em>
    <span>stops</span>
  </em>
  <span> for several seconds, like it can’t remember how to function. Like there’s a vital part missing. It also isn’t often, and he doesn’t fall unconscious and crack his head on tables every time, but it’s unpredictable, and it really fucking hurts, and Roxas usually just curls up on the sofa for the rest of the day, willing his restarted heart to return to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>(Lea’s sworn to secrecy about the time it happened in the middle of the night, throwing Roxas into a nightmare so horrific he woke up inconsolable. Roxas doesn’t think he could bear the guilt on Kairi’s face if she found out.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So, yeah. No one’s doing great, exactly. Oh, they’re happy, being together, being teenagers. Hayner and Pence and Olette have welcomed Xion without second thoughts, and even Seifer seems pleased to have someone who can match him in Struggles. But they’re not doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>great</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That night Roxas lies awake, deliberating on whether or not to shut the blinds or leave them open, so the sunset could wash over him. That’s not his preference, but it had been Sora’s, and it helps, sometimes. But tonight it’s too bright outside. He can’t sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sighing, Roxas sits up to draw the blinds. If nothing else, he can always sneak into the kitchen and make some hot chocolate (another preference of Sora’s, but Roxas can’t deny its helpfulness in soothing his restless heart.) As he turns away from the window, however, a flicker of movement catches the edge of his vision. Frowning, he turns back to pull two of the blinds apart and peer through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s nothing. No one on the streets, not even a bird flying by, or a flag fluttering in the breeze. The streets are stark and barren, even of shadows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas takes one glance behind him to make sure his door is closed and Xion is still asleep, before easing the window open and slipping outside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slithering down the fire escape, Roxas glances towards the clock tower to ground himself before looking in the other direction. The clock tower stands true against the night sky, but going away from it the streets of Twilight Town fades into night— a night with no stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a brief moment Roxas wonders if this is a simulation, if everything following the final battle— or worse from before it— was nothing more than just another lie. Then he shakes his head and set off down the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Twilight Town is real. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He</span>
  </em>
  <span> is real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But as he winds through the streets it becomes clear to him that he’s not in Twilight Town anymore. This is a twisted version of The World That Never Was, he realizes; bare and devoid of Heartless and Nobodies alike. Memory Skyscraper towers over him, but its screens are full of dark static. It’s eerily silent, the kind that takes root in Roxas and makes him shiver, but he doesn’t dare break it by calling out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the foot of the skyscraper the streets opens up into the central square. Roxas wishes he’d brought a jacket of some kind, but even as he thinks that one of Axel’s stupid denim things drops over his shoulder. Okay. A dream, then. That explains The World That Never Was. Roxas peers around, wondering if Xemnas is going to burst out and start taunting him, or if he’s going to see Riku drop from the skyscraper to kick off another duel. Can he even summon his keyblades? If only he knew how to synthesize Dream Eaters—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>None of those things happen. Instead, a Shadow hops out from behind the relative safety of a door. Roxas stares at it. It stares back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something’s weird about it. It perches on two back legs like a rabbit and tilts its head at him, and Roxas feels the urge to take a step towards it. It doesn’t move, just watches him with its huge glowing eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas is two steps away when something on his heart tugs and he stumbles to his knees. The Shadow hops forward then to peer up into his face, and Roxas knows, instantly— even if he doesn’t know how it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>possible</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sora?” he whispers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heartless don’t make sounds, he’s pretty sure, but this one chitters at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But, how?” he whispers, and then rolls his eyes. “And don’t tell me that it happened when I was made, I know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but— you’re here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora makes a little noise, and Roxas holds out his hands. He’s not a— touchy-feely guy, but this is </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sora</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and he’s tiny and cute as a little Shadow, and it’s a dream anyway. No one has to know. Sora hops into his hands and Roxas holds him close, closing his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s a gentle glow of light, and Roxas falls backwards with an </span>
  <em>
    <span>oof</span>
  </em>
  <span> as a sudden weight drops directly onto his chest. When he opens his eyes, he has an armful of warm teenage boy, and he sucks in a breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-Sora,” he says, and Sora draws back, eyes flickering as they open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxas?” he asks, and before Roxas can blink Sora’s hugging him again, face buried in his chest. “Roxas!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Holy shit. Roxas’ hands come up to hug Sora back, and he knows that somehow, </span>
  <em>
    <span>somehow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, this isn’t just some dream version of Sora his mind had conjured up. This is real. This is really him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you here?” Sora asks, pulling away and rubbing at his eyes. “Wait a second— don’t answer that. You shouldn’t be here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Neither should you,” Roxas says, eyes narrowing. “You should be at home, with Riku and Kairi. Instead you went and got yourself lost.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora droops, if it’s possible for a boy to droop. “I promised,” Sora says, “that I’d look after them. It’s my fault that Kairi died, anyway, I had to fix it! And Riku shouldn’t have to look after me all the time.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, he’s going to,” Roxas says, rolling his eyes. Sora shivers, and Roxas shrugs off the denim monstrosity and draps it over Sora’s shoulders without thinking. Sora stares at him with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How are you here?” he breathes. “I— I saw Riku, and that I understand, cause he’s my Dream Eater, even though that doesn’t make any sense, and Kairi’s a Princess of Heart so I guess she can kinda do anything, but Roxas—,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m your Other,” Roxas says simply. “Only thing I can think of. You’re not complaining, are you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No!” Sora says, instantly, and Roxas’ heart gives an unsteady thump. “I just— I don’t know where I am. It all keeps changing. Last time I saw Riku I was in the middle of a thunderstorm and now I’m here—,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Take it easy,” Roxas says. “Look, if you saw Riku then he’s gonna come find you, I know it. You know it. And I’m gonna go with him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxas, no!” Sora grips his face in both hands and Roxas freezes, eyes wide. “You should stay— stay with Lea and Xion. I worked so hard to let you be yourself!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and you’re not there with me,” Roxas growls, reaching up to grasp Sora’s wrists. “So I don’t want to. It hurts, Sora, so much. So we’re gonna find you. And bring you back. Okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sora stares at him with wide eyes, but before he can say anything else, Roxas’ traitorous heart </span>
  <em>
    <span>lurches</span>
  </em>
  <span> in his chest, and he can’t breathe. “Roxas?” Sora yells, as Roxas topples all the way backwards. “What’s happening! Roxas!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My heart,” Roxas wheezes. “Hates— that you’re gone. Does this sometimes. Used to it.” The dream is crumbling though, and Roxas tries to tug on the edges of it weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, nononono,” Sora chants, fresh tears spilling over into his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M’gonna be okay, buddy,” Roxas says. “Just waking up. Coming for you. Kay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Promise,” Sora says, holding out his pinky. “I won’t forgive you if you don’t come.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas grabs Sora’s pinky, and then in a daring move tugs Sora’s hand to his mouth. “Love you,” he mumbles, quiet enough that it could be lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Rox,” Sora says, through tears. “And— you have to tell Riku! You have to tell him that I—,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas slams back into wakefulness in Twilight Town with a huge, heaving gasp, and the sounds of running footsteps in the hall. His heart hasn’t gotten the clue that he’s awake yet and he chokes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxas!” Lea cries, slamming the door open, and within moments both he and Xion are perched on his bed, grabbing his hands, smoothing his hair away. Roxas heaves in a breath, and then another, and then his heart jackrabbits back to life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roxas?” Xion whispers, and a hand reaches up to his cheek. With a jolt Roxas realizes there’s tears rolling down his cheeks, and he hurriedly brushes them away. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nightmare?” Lea guesses, and Roxas shakes his head, and then nods. “Okay, Isa’s making hot chocolate, and then we’ll cuddle on the couch for a while, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t,” Roxas mumbles. “Hafta go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where?” Xion asks, tilting her head. “Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yen Sid’s Tower,” Roxas says, staring at Lea. “I think. Maybe. Riku’s there. Or he was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Isa’s silhouetted at the door and pauses, four mugs of cocoa in his hands. “Actively seeking out Riku?” he asks, eyebrow raised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have the drink first,” Lea says, wrapping an arm around Roxas’ shoulder. “I think you took about five years off my life screaming like that, and if we’re gonna get you to Riku I need that time back.”</span>
</p><hr/><p>
  <span>The train ride to the tower is quiet, and Roxas is grateful that the others leave him at the station and go back home, Xion with a worried glance behind her. Roxas is still trembling and aching but he has to do this sooner rather than later, and he knows Riku’s here right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas has forged an uneasy truce with Riku, mostly born from the knowledge that the person he’d sacrifice the most for is the same as Riku’s person. He doesn’t like everything Riku put him through during that year, but it’s slightly easier knowing he did it for Sora, and Roxas knows he’d do the same thing, given the option.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This will be the dumbest thing Roxas has ever done, but he doesn’t feel like going into the tower proper, and besides, he’s got a hunch that he knows which window is Riku’s. He picks up a pebble— shiny blue glass, like his and Sora’s eyes— and tosses it at the windowpane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It clatters against the glass. Roxas waits another moment, picks up another pebble, and chucks it right as Riku opens the window, so it clocks him in the cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Roxas mutters, but he can’t help but grin at how affronted Riku looks. “Did I wake you, Sleeping Beauty?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing here, Roxas?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I come up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku sighs and disappears back into his room. Roxas waits, arms folded, and then what looks like a rapshod wooden ladder comes tumbling out the window. Roxas grins and takes a running start, scrambling up the side of the tower until he’s clutching at Riku’s windowsill, at which point Riku’s hauling him bodily inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So?” Riku asks, arms folded. His bed looks like he hasn’t slept in it for days, and his eyes reflect that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna go after Sora,” Roxas says, and Riku’s jaw tightens just enough that Roxas nods in confirmation. “I’m coming.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’s silence, wherein Riku just blinks at him like a beached fish, and Roxas catches sight of the duffel full of potions and elixirs stuffed under his bed. Then he says, “You’re— I’m— </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know you’re going after Sora,” Roxas says, patiently. Riku always had a thick skull. “I’m coming with you. You’re not leaving without me. And you better not be leaving without Kairi, either.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku opens and closes his mouth a couple times, and then shakes his head. “I’m— picking her up from the Land of Departure tomorrow. But how did you—,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I talked to him,” Roxas says, and perches on the end of Riku’s bed, one hand coming up to his chest, where his heart is still remembering how to function. “Had a dream. Just now. I saw him, in the World That Never Was.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words clearly have an effect on Riku— before Roxas has even finished his sentence Riku’s staggered, leans against a chair for support. “You saw him. How?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas shrugs. “I don’t know. He said you were his Dream Eater, and he saw you on the islands?” Riku goes pale at the words. “But I don’t know. Maybe because he’s my Other, but I don’t really care. Because I saw him, and he’s out there somewhere and we’re all hurting as long as he’s gone. So I’m coming too.” He holds up a pinky. “I promised. Even if Sora forgets that, I won’t. So.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku blinks at the outstretched hand, and then Roxas pulls it back in, towards himself. “Your life,” Riku says, finally. “Sora worked so hard to bring you back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He said the same thing.” Roxas sighs. “And I don’t want it if he’s not there. I’m sure you feel the same way.” Riku flinches, and Roxas knows with grim satisfaction what must have happened. “I’m, uh, sorry, by the way. Kind of. Sora tried to tell me to tell you something, but I woke up before I could get the whole message.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you only kind of sorry?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m pretty sure… I know what he was going to say.” The certainty had sunk in on the train ride, that Sora had finally gotten it through his head that he was in love with his best friend. Only took him years and having his entire being shattered to do it. “But I think it’s something you should hear from him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku groans. “I hate you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure you do.” Roxas stands up and uncertainly looks at Riku. “Hey,” he says. “We’re gonna get him back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku blinks at him, and then nods. “We’d better,” he says, grimly. “Because we’re gonna kick his ass for leaving us again.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn straight,” Roxas says, and offers a fistbump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Riku returns it, and then eyes him critically. “You look terrible,” he notes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Roxas says, dry. “I got shocked awake from a dream of Sora by—,” he hesitates, not sure he wants to explain to Riku right now about his heart problem. “Replica stuff,” he says instead, and Riku looks at him like he doesn’t believe it but he doesn’t press. “If you’re not gonna sleep, I might steal your bed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I—,” Riku sighs. “You got me. How could you tell?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roxas flops backwards onto Riku’s still-made bed and grins. “I lived inside Sora’s heart for like a year,” he says. “How do you think?”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>riku and roxas will be friendly if i have anything to say about it. though eventually the adrenaline will wear off and roxas will remember that he's not happy with riku for, yknow, fighting him and trying to kill him in order to bring sora back. he hasn't exactly forgotten that part.</p><p>i may end up moving to biweekly for this next bit, because we've finished the dreams and now it's time for... the game. six chapters of absolute bullshit and more exposition than is probably strictly necessary but i have a Lot of thoughts so sora gets to ask all my questions for me.</p><p>if you liked this there's a post about it on my <a href="http://citadelofswords.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> and i would appreciate greatly if you would reblog it since the tumblr algorithm no longer drops links into searches.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>